NOW HEAR THIS - CHOOF
Words by: Tom Wilson @thetomwilsonexperiment - Sense Music Media | Friday 31st March 2023
CHOOF’s Top Five Sexiest Pieces of Cinema…
Ahead of their epic trek supporting powerviolence yanks DESPISE YOU, we asked Melbourne grind maniacs CHOOF to recommend five pieces of art, and … well … we’ve only got ourselves to blame for what happened next …
1. La Bête (1975)
We will be starting this list today in 1975 France, where cinema was about to get weirder than anybody was expecting. La Bête opens with a very intense and passionate love-making scene between two horses and then proceeds to move into one of the most insane bigfoot love tales since Night of the Demon. Refused classification by the BBC and now widely available on Blu-ray, La Bête is a dream-like exploration of what grief leads us to. (SPOILER: it's beast sex)
2. Evil Head (2012)
You know you're in good hands when you see a porno produced by Burning Angel starring Tommy Pistol (A Wet Dream on Elm Street & The XXXorcist). This is one of the few times when the story scenes are completely worth the watch, funny gags (see what I did there?), and a bit of gore... Not to mention the NecronomiCum Ex-Mortis! What more could you want?
3. Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend (1989)
While far from a porn parody, Legend of the Overfiend set a tone for filthy anime films coming out of Japan for the next 40+ years. While following a fairly simple plot: A demon wakes to obliterate the world and unite men, man-beasts, and monster demons... Urotsukidoji manages to take this concept and cum blast it into oblivion. Featuring many, and I mean many scenes with a giant demon cock: this is a front-runner for OG sex maniac anime.
4. Texas Dildo Masquerade (1998)
The account of a sexual awakening of a group of Texas teenagers thanks to a roadside maniac/dildo maker. See all your favorite scenes from Toby Hoopers' classic The Texas Chainsaw Massacre recreated, including that grizzly graveyard scene with blow-up dolls instead of corpses, somehow even more scuzzy and grimy than the original! Made all the more disturbing by an appearance from Ron Jeremy, Texas Dildo Masquerade does to dildos what Jaws did for going to the beach.
5. Edward Penishands (1991)
The be all, of end all. Nothing will ever beat this movie, and let's face it ... This is cinema. Produced in 1991 and featuring the now infamous Sikki Nixx as Edward the young door-to-door salesman who has, as you guessed it … penises as fingers! The climax to Edward Penishands is a set piece involving Edward eating dinner with the parents of his beloved, resulting in possibly the strangest and most disturbing meal scene since the custard extravaganza in Dead Alive.
CHOOF support DESPISE YOU touring Australia in late May. God help us all. Get tickets here.
