PROFESSOR ELEMENTAL - A Man In His Element
An Interview with Paul Alborough: the Chap-Hop Artist Himself
Written By: Tom Wilson - Sense Music Media
Paul Alborough is wearing a pith helmet with steampunk goggles and safari suit with a Union Jack emblazoned across the chest. “I’ve been filming for a convention in America … Dress for the job you want, or whatever they say.”
Sitting in his Brighton home in costume as his rap alter-ego PROFESSOR ELEMENTAL, he is quick to ask if I want to speak to him in character. Paul’s fine, I tell him – doing the whole thing in character sounds exhausting. I do take the chance to bust out a cliché and ask where Paul Alborough ends, and PROFESSOR ELEMENTAL begins, particularly since he just walked his laptop into another room to fetch his cup of tea. He smiles.
“That’s a question I ask myself often!” He laughs. “As I get older, and I get madder, I realise that the two are basically becoming more and more entangled.” He raises his hands and enmeshes his fingers. “I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or not.”
The character of the Professor had its origins over a decade ago, in an album that was to explore how rap would have sounded in different time periods. The album itself was never released, but the character endured, first appearing in the video for the track A Cup of Brown Joy in 2008. A love letter to this most quintessentially British hot beverage, it featured a swivel-eyed Alborough in a safari suit, singing the praises of tea in all its forms (except herbal, thank you very much). Looking and sounding like the big game hunter from Jumanji if he hung up the blunderbuss and started a rap career, Elemental’s “chap-hop” rhymes are a celebration of Britishness as it was long, long ago. Unsurprisingly, he’s been a hit with the leather & brass gearheads in the steampunk community, performing at numerous conventions at home and abroad. “Because the Cup of Brown Joy video took off, I had Americans getting in touch, going, “Hey, you want to come play at this steampunk thing?” I was like, “Whatever that is, I will come and do it.” And I sort of stumbled into a load of people who are my tribe. That’s the nicest thing. I’m blessed with lots of friends, but in terms of a tribe of like-minded people, I never quite found it in all the things that I like, and I get to steampunk, and I’m like, “Here you all are! This is nice!” It was a lucky accident – the right thing at the right time.”
I mention that, for a guy who grew up listening to hip-hop, he’s taken it in a very left-of-field direction.
“I grew up in the early nineties, and it kind of gets forgotten about, because gangsta rap is such a big thing, but of course, a lot of stuff that came through in the early days – particularly the stuff that filtered through to the suburbs – was the Fresh Prince, Digital Underground, A Tribe Called Quest … And they weren’t only talking about bitches and hoes … Some of the stories they were talking about were really strange. I just rediscovered a Digital Underground song that was just about being underwater, seeing loads of fish, and going to prison because an octopus puts you in prison, and stuff like that. The stuff I do isn’t that weird, really. In many ways, it sort of harks back to the early hip-hop, which was quite weird.”
Back in April, PROFESSOR ELEMENTAL released the video for Let’s Get Messy, the title track from his latest album. In it, the Professor is a children’s entertainer, and not a very good one. Performing at a birthday party, his card tricks and magic draw yawns from his audience, before an unimpressed parent nails him in the face with a custard pie. The party erupts into a food fight, much to the delight of all the children, and the day is saved. Whose idea was it?
“It was me and my partner. Whenever things are a bit rough, my biggest fear is that I’ll end up as a really terrible aging children’s entertainer, going to parties and saying “Hello, kids!” “Oh God, here he is.” I thought, let’s address that straight away.” He laughs. “I’m all about finding your worst fears and addressing them publicly, as quickly as possible. The guy who produced that song, Mister Frisbee, he let us come to his house and have a food fight in his garden. We trashed it. We absolutely trashed it. Loads of kids came over, it was chaos, so I will always be in debt for the fact that he let us do that.”
COVID-aside, we are living in strange, volatile times. The past is being scrutinised much more harshly than it was just ten years ago. Art that people loved growing up is being reappraised, often being viewed unfavourably through the lens of our current values. Statues are being torn down. The importance of memorials and traditions are being questioned. The very concept of what it means to be British is changing and evolving, and Britain’s colonial past is something a lot of people might like to forget. The Britain of centuries past was a place of incredible technological advancement and scientific discovery, but also intense racism and xenophobia. Trotting out a character dressed as a British explorer with a pith helmet and blunderbuss in these woke times must be a tricky business. “It’s an absolute minefield. If only I’d known, when I did this act as a one-off [performance] in a tiny little pub to twenty people, where I’d borrowed a pith helmet … If only I’d known. I never would have chosen this outfit! I could’ve been a mad professor! Now I’m stuck with this colonial [image].” He laughs. “I’m a white middle-class guy doing hip-hop – the whole thing is a disaster!”
He is acutely aware that some people might be drawn to him for the wrong reasons, and he’s quick to make them uncomfortable. “I think because I’ve got an awareness of not wanting to pick up the wrong crowd of people – “Ooh! I like his Union Jack! I’m a bit racist!” I don’t want those [people] as my audience.”
He’s not kidding about being outspoken – during Fighting Trousers, his diss track to fellow chap-hop artist Mr B The Gentlemen Rhymer, he described his opponent as “rap’s Piers Morgan.” Ouch.
“I do go out of my way to alienate [those] people when I’m onstage, or at least make my feelings clear about stuff … It’s important to stress that the Professor is definitely a parody of the British class system, rather than a white version of what black rap is – I think that could get very messy. It’s a minefield, and I am treading very carefully.”
Pictured: Paul Alborough - PROFESSOR ELEMENTAL
Photo by: Matthew Kitchen - Matthew Kitchen Photography
What do you think it means to be British these days?
“That’s a tricky one, isn’t it? I think we’re in a really weird place, particularly with things like Brexit. We’re just constantly looking backwards as a nation for fonder days, which didn’t really exist, apart from for a very few people. Britain is constantly trying to define itself … Other nations are quite at ease with who they are, [whereas] we are, “Cake-making! Stately homes! Politeness! Cups of tea! Casual racism!” We’re always trying to put forward what we’re like. Also, I think we’ve got a huge, bloated sense of self-importance that the world just doesn’t share. I know that particularly the older generation still think that “the world looks upon Britain as a shining beacon!” Of course, most of the world doesn’t really give much of a fuck about Britain. A lot of other countries find us quite twee and amusing … There are still aspects of Britishness that I really love – our countryside, our self-depreciating humour … I think I’ve really leaned to value the sort of boring aspects of being British. There are no deadly creatures here. In Australia, you’ve got spiders that will kill you living underneath your toilet and stuff. If I go to the woods, nothing can hurt me, apart from my own stupidity. I find great comfort in that. I find great comfort in our small, boring island. I think it’s lovely.”
For all the eccentricities, outfits and gimmickry, one fact is unescapable – Paul lives and breathes rap music, and the length and breadth of his knowledge of the genre is remarkable. This year, in addition to putting out an album and a book titled Mea Cuppa, he also launched an ambitious project: doing a playlist representing each year in the life of rap as a genre, showcasing what he thinks are the key tracks of each time period. “I decided to listen to every single rap album, in chronological order, and make these massive playlists. I’ve done one for every year, and I’m exhausted. I’m up to 2018, I’ve listened to about 10,000 rap songs, and it’s killing me!” He laughs. “I can’t wait to get to the end of it, to be honest. I started in 1985, back in January [this year], and I’ve listened exclusively to all of the rap, all year long.”
Pictured: Paul Alborough - PROFESSOR ELEMENTAL
Photo by: Trekkie Beth - Geek Shot Photo
In 2020, a lot about the future is uncertain, but you wouldn’t know to look at Paul, who seems perfectly happy trying to spin as many creative saucers as he can. “I’m doing a lot more writing, which is nice. I’m pitching a few cartoons, because I’m really passionate about cartoons, and I know a few people now, so I’m like “Right, get in there – let’s see if I can get a cartoon on the telly!” I’m always working about three years in advance. I’ve got three albums that I’m slowly working on, bit by bit, with an infinite number of collaborations, just to the point where it’s ridiculous.” He moves his laptop to show me a giant “mind-map” laid out like a cobweb on the wall, focusing the webcam on the number 2020 … and beneath it, one word: “NEMESIS.”
“The big thing is this huge album called Nemesis, about a supervillain coming to destroy the Professor, and I’ve got so many people involved. It’s a bit unwieldy, but delicious at the same time. I had two friends over last night, and we made up a song. I was like, “Right! We need to be in my cellar. You are a broken robot butler, and you are … slime! You’re some slime that’s been sitting in the cellar forever, and I have to get from here to here, and it’s really complicated.” Solving those little made-up problems is delicious. It’s a lovely way to spend an evening.”
Download/Vinyl
You can get your very own copy of Let’s Get Messy and PROFESSOR ELEMENTAL’s full collection at www.professorelemental.com
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Check out PROFESSOR ELEMENTAL’s full Rap History playlist HERE
